


words hurt, and yet they tell a story.

by eviesthirlwzll



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, a stucky mevie au, were using his trigger words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23720218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviesthirlwzll/pseuds/eviesthirlwzll
Summary: Trigger her to madness were their purpose. Now it just tells her story. Their story.
Relationships: Evie/Mal (Disney)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	words hurt, and yet they tell a story.

Her trigger words were a love story.

Her heavy arm reminds her of that. No words were needed but still, it hits different when it's said out loud.

_Longing_.

Mal remembered all the times she was on the run. The world blamed her, the world searched for her and on top of that, she blamed herself.

It's stupid because she should be concerned about the fact that she was being hunted down by the whole world but here she is, longing for her.

Yearning for the feeling of warmth, searching for the one thing that can fill the empty void in her heart. Mal was longing the soldier, longing the warm smile she sends her way, the sparkling brown eyes that shine under the moonlight.

She missed her, the feeling of her previously skinny arms warm around her own, not wanting to let go, knowing that only she is her only stronghold. Mal yearned for her, she longed for the moments they held a few days ago. The bright smiles, everything. It's stupid, too.

She longed for such a moment within the five years Evie had disappeared, turned to dust, disinegrated, and she came back, a hammer hurling towards her in midair.

She longed for her touch, her comfort, her love.

Longing triggered her, every damn time because she was reminded of how much she longed her home. Evie.

_Rusted_.

Mal was rusted. Her days of killing had affected her. Along with this was the constant thought of having Evie in her arms. It was killing her. Funnily enough, it was this that killed her.

She hated the feeling of it, she hated staring at herself in the mirror to see the gleam of her metal arm staring right back at her. She hated how it weighed her down and made her to kill. She hated that she hurted the one person that meant the world to her with the same arm.

It kills her, just thinking about it and it drives her, getting more insane by every passing beat, every passing second. No knives thrown to the target, no sparring with Jay, no firing with Uma can help. It hurts like hell.

She drove herself into near insanity just by staring at those brown eyes she loved the most. She drove herself into near insanity just by thinking of her melodic laugh, her passion, her voice. God, her voice.

No singer in their time, better yet, no singer in this time can ever compare to the angel Evie Grimhilde was. And she hated it.

Mal was rusted, busted, hurt and there's nothing she could ever do about it.

It reminded her how hurt she was and how she drove herself to insanity because she lost Evie.

_Seventeen_.

They were seventeen when Mal fell in love with her. Damn. She can clearly remember the way she stared at her one day and there, she knew Evie was the most beautiful woman in all of Auradon.

Despite her weight, her sickness, her conditions, Mal found her amazing. Because she was, and nothing can ever change that. Like Mal's mother once said, you like because, you love despite. And surely enough, she loved Evie despite all her flaws.

Even when they entered the army, Mal admits, it was so fucking stupid of the girl to run after her when she was literal skin and bones with a hint of asthma, but it warmed her heart.

Seventeen, it was the first and last time Mal felt the feeling of falling, continuously, dangerously, into a dark pit where there is no certainty that you could ever stand back up and move on.

Seventeen, she fell, down, down, down. Until the pit of love turned to a pit of sorrow and despair, not knowing who she actually was and the one thing that was left to remind her what she was, was gone.

It reminded her the year of her birth and as the day progresses, she forgot why seventeen meant so much to her but remembered how seventeen had hurt her. She wished she wasn't born at all.

_Daybreak._

It was daybreak when she first wrote a song about her, daybreak when she last saw Evie in their own time. Daybreak when she still had two fucking arms.

She wrote her a song, ahead of their time. They were monsters, the both of them. Monsters both wanting to be let out as their fierce hearts roared. Their feathered strong wings wanting to soar. She wrote her a song, something about her own monster wanting to love Evie's despite everything.

She was about to give it to her that night, they were almost done with killing off HYDRA. It was when they were at the bar and she could go ahead of Evie's suitor, Ben.

It was Daybreak when they argued too, both arguing that the other won't be safe. Honestly, it was the dumbest decision ever. They took the hate until the fight, they haven't talked and it resulted to catastrophe.

Daybreak, the remaining hours that remind Mal that she had lost her chance, that she had lost every remaining chance she could've tried. She hated herself for it, until now.

She refused, standing up, see the sun rise. Mal won't do that to herself again. She can't remind herself she lost the chance to tell Evie.

Daybreak. That word just showed her that there was no rising sun for the Winter Soldier. There wasn't going to be another day where she'd be loved again.

_Furnace_.

Mal remembered, times when she broke out of all the mind control the enemy had done on her, she'd stare at a fire, a furnace, rather.

Stare at it, motionless until she can feel the heat of it creeping up on her heavy load, the one thing that reminded her how much she's lost. How much she wasn't capable to keep. Evie was just one of them.

She'd stare at it until she could hear the guards, their heavy footsteps thundering at every hidden base they worked at. The fire kept her comforted, though. It eased her, of course, it would. Why wouldn't it when it reminded her of Evie?

The fire reminded her so much of the raven haired girl. The fire in her eyes, the fire in her heart, fueling every inch of her to go on even if it wasn't in her capacity. Mal hated looking after her like an older sister but she loved it, secretly she did. She never told Evie, though, she knew the girl would just do it more often.

Fire, the intense burning, the same feeling she has every second she closes her eyes and remembers every memorized detail of her soldier.

It continuously reminded her of death as they used it against her. She was alive because of being frozen like a steak for fuck's sake.

_Nine_.

Nine minutes they had, and all of it, it was spent on punches, kicks and dislocated arms. Oh, a burning Hellicarrier too, by the way.

All it took was nine minutes for Mal to be physically in pain but only nine seconds was all it took for her to snap back into reality as Evie stared straight back at her.

Nine words was also what it took for her, she stared at Evie as the soldier's flawless face turned bloody and bruised. Evie winced as she dropped her shield, staring straight at her, dead in the eye with a sad smile gracing her lips. "I'm with you until the end of the line."

Nine wasn't pleasant before. For it reminded her how many bullets it took just to hurt people she knew and cared for. One, Jay Jane. Two, Carlos. Three, Uma. Four, Harry. Five, Audrey. Six, Gil. Seven, eight and nine, Evie Grimhilde.

_Benign._

No, she wasn't benign. The Winter Soldier never was. She was a threat, a killing machine of some sort. She was a catastrophe, an imperfect project that was deemed perfect. She was an experiment, toyed with until she couldn't cope.

Benign was Mal Moors, one of her remaining hope as the clamps were restored on top of her head, electrocuting her, shocking her until she can't feel herself. Until she was rebooted and asked to kill once more.

Mal Bertha, the same girl that fell in love and fell continuosly. She was benign, silent, no imposed threat she could do for she can't even fight herself.

Benign was her heart as she thought of Evie and her words.

But being benign just reminded her that she can't be that. The killer could never be at peace.

_Homecoming_.

Home. A place she searched for while she was locked in a cell or told to stand still at the corner, unmoving, completely still, silent as the instructions were told. Mal changed the world, slowly, by killing people.

Home was a place she knew where she belong and where she could be who she actually was. Home was where her heart is. Home was where Evie is and she had lost her. For years she knew the super solider had died.

Home, finally she found it just as she was being blamed by the death of someone she didn't even know. Home was when she opened her eyes again to be greeted by the advance laboratories and she was exposed to the people. Not as a threat but as a member of the community.

Home was when she saw Evie again, walking down the ramp of the Quinjet with a huge smile plastered on her face as she rushed towards the blonde, crashing on to her.

Home was one thing that she hated, too. Because she knew that was one thing she could never take, she could never go to.

_Freight car._

There was no explanation to why she hated this word. Or so, everyone thought.

Not because it's where she fell and where her life was stripped away from her, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

She hated the word because it just reminded her of how Evie desperately tried to pull her back up, help her when she was helpless. It was just one more nudge and she could have been pulled up, she could've told her how she felt and they can live happily after the war.

The freight car reminded her of how much she lost. First was her arm, staring at it, she knew she lost a part of her life she could never get back to. A part she knew she was going to long for.

She lost her family. She didn't see how Hadie got married or how he had grown. How her mother and father reconcilled, how her neighbors named their child or how the war had ended.

But most importantly she lost Evie. The one thing in her life that actually motivated her to fight for what was right.

She lost her life because of a freight car.

_One._

One, a simple number.

One, the same number of how many Evie Grimhilde's there were in the world. One, there was only one and nothing could ever replace her. No one.

There were only one set of eyes that could make Mal feel things just by looking at them. One pair of lips that would urge her to lean forward and crash her own. One smile that could make her melt, make her heart flutter.

There was only one Evie and nothing can ever fucking replace her. Mal hated herself for impying that on herself. One, there was only one and that had to be the person she fell in love with.

God, it was also one in the morning when she realized how much in love she was. One in the morning when she prayed and thought to herself how Evie meant to her.

It was one when they locked eyes again, when Evie saved her the first time. She'd remember, only she had a watch at those times.

While every word that triggered her were involved with how much she lost, one, one word stood out. Because it reminded her of the one person she ever loved more than her own.

"'Ey, Moors? Are ye done starin' at the wall? It's time." Harry knocked on her door, they were staying at the guest house of the millionaire that was Tony Stark. She nodded, "Yeah, I'll be there."

The words echoed around her head as she trekked down the stairs, each step killing her slowly. She knew of Evie's plan. They talked about it the night before.

She's going to stay in their old timeline, she wanted to grow old and find the love of her life there. It hurt, and just like Peter says, "My heart was yeeted out of the motherfucking building."

She stopped as she saw Evie hugging both Jay and Carlos while Doug stood with his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, telling her how it works once more.

Then their eyes locked. A smile crept up both their faces as Evie approached her, smiling from ear to ear as they hugged. "Don't do anything stupid until I get back." She winked and Mal wanted to yell and cry, but she still forced a grin as she held back tears. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

And then she stepped on the podium, Mal turned, didn't look back and just plugged on the device Shuri had given her, something called buds or something. She used it to block the world out by listening to music she missed. Or didn't enjoy because she was killing people.

She removed her metal arm and closed her eyes.

_Wise men say, only fools rush in._

She wasn't wise, she never was. But she could never say she rushed into things. The song played over and over, even until she woke up, with arms wrapped around her torso. She furrowed her eyebrows.

_But I can't help, falling in love with you._

She had hoped it would be Evie but she remembered that she had went back in time. And it sucks to her because she had left her but still, she's in love with her. So she assumed that it was Carlos, Jay wouldn't dare share a bed with anyone else. Yet alone, cuddle.

_Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?_

And then she thought about it herself, will it be extremely selfish of her if she headed back to find Evie? If she left the world now and stay with the love of her life?

_If I can't help falling in love with you._

Then she turned and met brown eyes staring straight back at her with a grin so bright she swore it could've blinded her. "Why are you here?" She whispered, inaudible but the soldier heard it. Evie grinned.

"I didn't need to come back in time to find the person I've fallen in love with. You're already here."

Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, freight car and one.

Just ten words that went from triggering her into reminding her how much she loved the super solider.

And dare I say, they lived the rest of their lives with a senior's discount and a happily ever after.


End file.
